1. He will tell you that he misses his cousins because they live so far away and he never gets to see them. You will want to be his entire family but he will never let you.
2. He will ask you to come to the mall with him. You’ll sit on the carpeted floor of the movie theater and compare hand sizes. You’ll tell him that his hand is big enough to eat your hand. When you throw coins in the fountain, you’ll wish for him. That night he’ll get drunk with a girl called Shirley and she’ll suck his dick. In the morning he’ll message you on Facebook about it, wondering why he feels so guilty. You won’t tell him it’s because he likes you. He won’t figure it out.
3. In a Barnes and Nobel you’ll ask him to tie your bracelet back on. He won’t know how to do it and when you laugh at him he’ll call you a bitch. You’ll laugh the whole time you’re waiting for your mom but when you get in the car you’ll cry the entire way home.
4. When you break up with him for the first time you’ll ask him to go for lunch so you don’t have to do it over the phone. He will be 24 minutes late. Afterwards, you’ll walk to a 9/11 memorial and he’ll try to kiss you on the stone bench. You won’t let him but you’ll wish you had.
5. The second time you break up he’ll tell you to go to therapy. You’ll tell him that you don’t need therapy, you just need him to listen to you. You’ll tell him that if he can’t handle that then maybe he should just walk away. He will. He’ll say “alright” and leave you there with an ink stained heart and tiny hands that aren’t big enough to hold on to anything.
6. He’ll sit behind you in math class and you’ll try to make the back of your head as attractive as possible in the hopes that he falls back in love with you. You’ll doodle a sunrise on his paper but when he asks you’ll tell him it’s a sunset. You won’t want him to know that he fills you with joy and light. The effort of holding that in will bring tears to your eyes. He won’t notice or care and you’ll turn back around and try to focus on logarithms.
7. He’ll tell you that he’s moving to the other side of the world. He’ll tell you over text. You’ll sit in the living room and cry loudly. No one will hear you.
8. He’ll plan a party while you’re away and even though he kissed you in the park at night and fucked you all night long, whispering molasses in your ear, he’ll kiss another girl. He won’t tell you. You’ll see the picture months later and when you ask him about it he’ll say it was his fault, not hers, and you really shouldn’t be so mean to her.
9. He’ll kiss your face, he’ll kiss your neck, he’ll kiss your ribs, he’ll kiss your thighs. He’ll tell you that he’d jump in front of a car for you, a train, a plane. He’ll tell you that he’ll never want anyone but you. He’ll kiss you on your temple and tell you that he’s always in your brain. Then, at four in the morning, he’ll get on a plane to China.
10. He’ll start writing poetry because of you. You’ll send him your favorites and for Christmas you’ll give him a notebook full of things you wrote about him. When he sends you the things he writes, they’ll never be about you. You’ll never tell him how much that bothers you.
11.Everyone who touches you will not be him. You will try to make them him. You will make the same jokes you did with him and they will not laugh. You will play them music and they won’t remember it. Eventually, you will leave them and let him break you again."